Monday, 4 March 2013

"Little Dorrit"

There is a BBC mini series on Netflix on Charles Dickens "Little Dorrit". (Spoiler alert). It struck me how the attitude of Mr. Dorrit changed after he received his wealth. He wanted nothing to do with his old life, not even having anything to do with the people in his old life. It was so sad. And ultimately his mind simply couldn't handle it any more.

It is also sad how woman who were once infertile become as Mr. Dorrit if they are finally able to have a child (children). When that which is so desired comes, it becomes a consuming passion to throw off the former shame.

Isn't a child worth more to us infertile women than riches? Don't we feel the shame of not being able to have children? So why do so many (not all) women feel like they must have nothing to do with the "before"/"infertile" stage of their lives?

I've had this experience with a woman that I knew. I was naive and thought, "Wow, someone who has been through what I'm going through and who understands." Ha! Boy was I wrong! This woman was one of the most insensitive women of them all. (Please note, I know that not all women are like this.)

No Kidding in NZ has some insight to this in her post, Infertility and shame (great article).

We would all like to caste off what causes us shame (whether or not it is put on you by others or ourselves), but let's not forget the journey we've been on if we are ever granted a chance on another road.

It's not our fault we're infertile, but it is our fault if we belittle or condemn/shun, purposefully ostracise those who are.

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